My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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