woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
