A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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