sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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