worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
