is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
