I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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