I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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