I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
