I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
