Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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