another moral hangover. fuck.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
