got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
