Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made out with two different species that night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
