I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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