She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my being single is dangerous.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
