I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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