I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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