Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
