Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
