There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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