am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
