No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize