How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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