I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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