I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
