Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
