I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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