ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
