im drinking this country out of the recession.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
