just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize