uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
