Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
