when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
high people should be assigned attendants
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
