I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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