Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
