Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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