you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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