"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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