I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize