This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i permit you to call me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
