Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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