I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
