It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
