Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
