When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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