I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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