I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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