One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My vagina is very pro this idea
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
