Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
