i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
