i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
