I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
