Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
