Jerry, you need to find god
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
