I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
