You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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