Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
