He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize