just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
