What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
