We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
