All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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