3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize