Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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