And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
