Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
where does the pee come out of this thing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize